You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
