North Korea, Best Korea!
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
