I hate your face
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
