No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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