if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He kissed a someone with a penis
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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