Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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