just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
