he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
