summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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