Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
