that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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