I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
