I wanna passion pit in your ass
we made out on top of his cat.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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