Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
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