Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
