it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
