3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
