Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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