Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
