i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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