Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
