yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
