Need sex. Gaining weight.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
