i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
