Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
