I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
