"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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