I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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