if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
