that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
