Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
