is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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