My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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