i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just want nice things and good sex
Randomize
