yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just google imaged poop.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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