You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
