I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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