You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
