I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I party with great urgency now.
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