I cockslap morals
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
