Duck Duck Cougar?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
