You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
