Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
