Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
