So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
