Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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