No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
