69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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