i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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