i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
