he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
