why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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