so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
