do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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