yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
