My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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