you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
