Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
