you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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