HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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