Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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