also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize