no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
