So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
